Marriage & Relationships

Mary is 67 and she came in to discuss her fear that her 69-year-old husband had something terribly wrong with his behaviour. She noted that he was experiencing depression, irritability, isolation, confusion, anxiety and, at times, what appeared to be unprovoked rage. He would interrupt people and exhibited what appeared to be extreme self-centeredness. At…

Married for 32 years, and now empty nesters, Mike and Anna found themselves struggling to connect with each other in their marriage. Until recently, when the last of their children had left the house, Mike and Anna’s lives were filled with the typical busyness of parents having active children. Weekdays and most weekends were filled…

David betrayed his life partner and he was not prepared for his partner’s emotional distress. He wanted to know when it would end. He asked “Why isn’t sorry good enough”? David needed to understand that his partner’s reactions were normal. Her healing was largely dependent on his ability to be empathic, remorseful, honest, apologetic, loving,…

About three and a half years ago I wrote the article: ‘Up In Flames’ that can be found at Psychealth.com. It was written shortly after my apartment burned down and shares my experience navigating through that challenging life event. This article is the follow-up. It took over three years to rebuild my home. I recall the first…

The headline in the Globe and Mail read, “Your smartphone is making you stupid, antisocial and unhealthy. So why can’t you put it down?” by Eric Andrew-Gee. As I began to read the article I became alarmed by the research quoted. Internet companies have spent “billions of dollars” trying o figure out how to hook…

Empathy differs from sympathy. Sympathy reflects an understanding of another person’s situation- but viewed through your own eyes. In contrast, empathy is what you feel when you can step outside of yourself and enter the internal world of another person. You experience the other’s emotions and conflict without abandoning or losing your own perspective. It…

Lying destroys relationships and damages the bonds between human beings. The Journal of Intercultural Communication Research (2016) states that “we all lie, but not all lies are the same. People lie to achieve a goal: WE LIE IF [we believe] HONESTY WON’T WORK. Essentially the truth comes naturally, but lying takes effort and a sharp,…

This is a question that I often put to couples who attend the premarital workshops I present. I like the question because it requires what are called “higher order thinking skills” – a more effective way of engaging new information than simply receiving it in a rote learning format. The answers I receive to this…

When a couple marries, they can be truly miserable if they follow a few simple rules! When life is busy and stress levels are high, it is important to “do one’s own thing.”  Take time to unwind and relax; this is far more important than conversing with your spouse. If a conversation should happen to…

I woke up on a recent Saturday morning feeling tired and lethargic.  I thought of my list of things-to-do and decided that the best course of action was to enjoy my coffee in my easy chair. This plan didn’t require as much energy or focus. I waited to feel the motivation necessary to get on…

Mary, happily married for 10 years, still harbors extreme bitterness towards an ex-boyfriend who cheated on her 20 years ago. Brett remains enraged with a supervisor that “didn’t appreciate” all of “the hard work” he had done many years earlier. Sheila is frequently at her “boiling point,” in response to the childhood emotional neglect she…

Very few people are completely extroverted or introverted, but for those who are closer to the introverted end of the spectrum, please read on. Extroversion has been seen as the ideal personality type. What we are now recognizing is that introversion is also a normal variation of personality. Research shows that the brains of introverts…