Simon Hearn

Everyone feels anxiety at times, and when a real threat – like a truck is barreling your way – is present, you ought to feel anxious! But for many people who lack strong inner security, anxiety becomes like an alarm that trips too easily. You’re tensing up and feeling nervous about this, that and the…

Having trained in and practiced psychotherapy for 35 years, I have decided to apply my skills in a new arena. I have been undergoing training through the College of Executive Coaching, based in California, toward becoming a certified Business/Executive Coach. Business of Executive Coaching differ from psychotherapy, in that it addresses career issues in the…

Cognitive therapy for depression, a widely used approach, is based on the notion that depressive symptoms—sadness, loss of enjoyment, fatigue—are actually products of fear. That is, the person has allowed anxieties and doubts to take over, and to become the only “truths.” She starts to believe the fears are the total story, whereas they really…

Self-care seems like a common sense thing, something to balance out the stresses of life. However, certain kinds of anxious people have special difficulty with practicing self-care: Workaholics: These folks are always focused on the next problem, and don’t stop to appreciate how much energy they have spent on previous challenges. Driven by feelings of…

The word “sensitive” means many different things to many different people. For psychologist, Elaine Aron, Ph.D., “highly sensitive” has a quite specific meaning. Her research, which draws on biological, cognitive and personality findings, suggests that about 15-20% of the population qualifies as “highly sensitive.” This term refers to people whose nervous systems are easily overwhelmed,…

There has been much written lately about the Buddhist practice of “mindfulness”. Mindfulness essentially means that while going about your day, you are also calmly observing your reactions to what is going on. You observe yourself objectively as if you were another person. For example, while being mindful you may observe, “Now I’m getting stressed”,…

Compulsive gambling, overeating, shopping, exercise, internet use, and even TV watching all offer opportunities for individuals to develop addictive behaviors. This also applies to those who compulsively engage in repetitive sexual activities. The hallmark of impulse control disorders, including sexual compulsions, is a failure to resist an impulse that is harmful to the individual or…

Mary-Beth is a narcissist. This is a personality disorder characterized by a heightened sense of self-importance and grandiose feelings of uniqueness. Mary-Beth makes it appear that everything in the world is about her: her needs, her worries, her schedule, her feelings. She engages in a lot of self-dramatizing behaviour, and claims her average achievements are…

The fear of being left all alone to cope in a hard and scary world is universal; everyone feels it sometimes. But there are people whose lives are far too controlled by this fear. These insecure ones don’t trust their abilities to cope by themselves. While it is fine to be interdependent with others in…

Care of the self is important. Your self needs to be cultivated with care. Not to do this is to neglect, and to leave the self unprotected in this old world. Self care may not come naturally; it can be learned. For some people, the notion of being one’s own emotional self-protector and cultivator can…

There will always be times when unpleasant things have to be said. And if they’re not said, problems will fester. The skill of communicating your concerns without alienating the other is valuable. Being able to hear another’s concerns about your behavior, and to learn from him/her, is a useful skill too. Giving Criticism This must…

Erik Erikson, a psychoanalyst of the middle twentieth century, developed a scheme of human life in which he saw people at each new age-stage of life confronting new and different sorts of life challenges. It is interesting to examine his views about the last stage of life, when a person has retired and is addressing…