Assertive Skills for Consumer Woes

Have you unsuccessfully tried returning an inferior product one day after the stated return period? Have you ever been on a waitlist for a particular service, only to discover that no one seems to recognize your name when months later you call in to find out why you have not yet been contacted? These are frustrating experiences that we have all had at one time or another in dealing with “the system”. Given the varying number of ways people often respond to such frustrating situations, (becoming angry, threatening, whining or just giving up) I have found that a respectful, calm and consistent approach is most often the most effective.

Listed below are a number of principles and strategies for effectively responding to the system when it is not effectively responding to you.

1. BE ASSERTIVE, NOT AGGRESSIVE. Although occasionally tempting, it is rarely useful to lose one’s cool and vent on the sales person or front-line service provider with whom we initially share our concerns and frustrations. Often, they too are frustrated by the situation and feel caught by a system which is budget and policy driven, leaving little room for flexibility. Instead, calmly inquire who has the authority to override policy, or otherwise make a decision regarding your particular situation.
2. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Gather existing documentation such as sales receipts, warrantees, return policies, or appointment cards. Know with whom you spoke, and when you spoke to them. List details of your initial conversation and any stated or implied promises or assurances.
3. BUILD BRIDGES. While in the process of gathering information and speaking to people, be both courteous and appreciative of their time and effort, regardless of their level of authority – remember, you may need to speak to them again and their cooperation could be helpful.
4. MAKE NOTE. Maintain a file or binder and document all conversations and interactions immediately. As the proverb goes, the faintest note is better than the best memory.
5. CREATE A PAPER TRAIL. When having spoken to various people within the chain of command, thank them for their time and effort in writing and use the opportunity to “clarify your understanding” by summarize the particulars of the conversation noting the follow-up actions to be taken, by whom they are to be taken and within which time frame. If possible, fax the letter and obtain a confirmation of receipt from the fax machine or call the administration office to confirm receipt. Again, note with whom you spoke and at what time you spoke to them.
6. USE A PROGESSIVE APPROACH. Respect the chain of command by starting at the bottom and working your way up as needed. Speak first with the person assigned to deal with such situations as your own before corresponding with their superior. As much as possible, correspond in writing. If successive conversations with the various levels of the chain of command are not helpful, i.e. you are given “the run around”, carbon copy all correspondence to people further up in the chain of command, and to other external authorities related to the system with which you are dealing (eg. government officials, professional associations, etc.).
7. KNOW WHEN TO LET GO. As important as knowing what is within your control and worthy of your time and effort, it is as equally, if not more important to recognize what is not within your control or not worthy of your continued effort. At some point one may need to recognize that one has fought a good fight, cut one’s losses and simply choose to move on with life. Allowing oneself to be consumed by an unjust or unfair situation, beyond what is reasonable, is both unhealthy and unproductive.

In conclusion, I believe there are many ways one can choose to respond to an unjust situation or irresponsive system. However, repeated experience has shown me that a consistent, firm, fair and friendly approach is almost always the most effective.

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