Personal Growth

Some people like conflict. There is something almost addictive about the adrenalin release that occurs when pent-up frustrations are vented, arguments are won, and another is proved wrong. Yet in all my years of working with couples and families, I have never heard anyone say “We want more conflict!” or “Could you help us create…

Part 1 – What to expect Kathy vividly remembers her “life turning upside down” after her car accident ten years ago. She has struggled with chronic pain ever since. Despite being a “high achiever,” she has not been able to work since this time and has had difficulty accomplishing her usual household tasks. Martin has…

He got the gold. Forty year old Eric Lamaze won an Olympic Gold medal for the individual show jumping competition in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the first one for Canada in Olympic Equestrian show jumping since 1976. This happened years after being banned from competing on the world stage for a positive drug test. In…

Eight year old Matthew, a handsome youngster in a Canucks jersey, appeared alert and polite, albeit a little anxious, when I greeted him in my waiting room. After settling Matthew into a drawing activity, I interviewed his parents regarding their son. They described Matthew, the eldest of three children, as succeeding in almost all aspects…

Mary has suffered for years in her personal relationships and in her private world. Her behaviour, thoughts, and emotions were often described as though she was in the middle of a whirlwind. When meeting men she would put them on a pedestal, idealizing them to the point where they appeared to reach near sainthood in…

Spring has sprung and summer is almost upon us. Near are the days when school will be let out and our children will be home for the summer. For some, this is a time of joyful anticipation. Vacation schedules are arranged, long awaited holidays are planned, and preparations are begun. For others, the anticipation may…

A confession of a Chicago Tribune columnist named Marla Paul captured unexpected interest from the public when she stated in print “I am lonely. This loneliness saddens me.” She wrote “How did it happen that I could be forty-two years old and not have enough friends?” She asked her husband if something was wrong with…

As an old proverbs states « Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Involve me and I understand. » In a few words, this wise saying reminds us that discussion, reflection or analysis are not sufficient to effect lasting change. If we want to make a real difference in our lives, we…

Emotions are part of every day life, and most of us have noticed the ups and downs accompanying our varying emotions. Although positive feelings, such as joy, excitement, and love are often welcomed, we tend to struggle with the more unpleasant feelings, such as sadness, hurt, anger, and fear. We tend to view them as…

As a therapist I am consistently reminded of my clients’ courage when they strive to pursue the goal of making positive changes in their lives. At times, we discover that how we see ourselves and how others see us are not always in sync. We may find that some areas we perceived as strengths can…

Family doctors are often and appropriately the first professional one turns to when a patient recognizes they are struggling with depression, anxiety, anger, grief, etc. The family physician assesses the emotional pain one is experiencing and may suggest a lifestyle change, medication, counselling or a combination of all three. An area which I have found…

There has been much written lately about the Buddhist practice of “mindfulness”. Mindfulness essentially means that while going about your day, you are also calmly observing your reactions to what is going on. You observe yourself objectively as if you were another person. For example, while being mindful you may observe, “Now I’m getting stressed”,…