Questions that Arise When a Loved One Dies

Why is it taking so long for me to feel better? You may be asking this question of yourself after only a short time following the death of a loved one. Grief feels crazy at times and you want it to be over with so that you can feel normal again. However, it can take…

Destructive Narcissistic Parents – Part II

In the Summer of 2010 a published PsycHealth article on “Destructive Narcissistic Parents” triggered a number of calls from the adult offspring of these parents. They felt relieved in recognizing that they were not alone, nor were their parents who struggled with these traits. In therapy they were able to address the emotions they encountered…

Christmas Blues

Most people love Christmas: the music and coloured lights, traditions, great food, gifts and special gatherings with family and friends. There are some, however, who dread the season or find it stressful; they experience a significant contrast between their unhappiness and the celebrations taking place around them. Where do the Christmas Blues come from and…

Teens Who Cut

Maria is 14 years old. Two years ago she began to injure herself, dropped out of school, began using drugs and alcohol and eventually isolated all of her friends. Self injury involves the deliberate damaging of ones body. Cutting the skin with razor blades or broken glass is the most commonly seen method, while burning,…

Living With a Chronic Illness: Why You Should Maintain Hope

Part 1 – What to expect Kathy vividly remembers her “life turning upside down” after her car accident ten years ago. She has struggled with chronic pain ever since. Despite being a “high achiever,” she has not been able to work since this time and has had difficulty accomplishing her usual household tasks. Martin has…

The Storm Within

Mary has suffered for years in her personal relationships and in her private world. Her behaviour, thoughts, and emotions were often described as though she was in the middle of a whirlwind. When meeting men she would put them on a pedestal, idealizing them to the point where they appeared to reach near sainthood in…

Tune in to Your Emotions

Emotions are part of every day life, and most of us have noticed the ups and downs accompanying our varying emotions. Although positive feelings, such as joy, excitement, and love are often welcomed, we tend to struggle with the more unpleasant feelings, such as sadness, hurt, anger, and fear. We tend to view them as…

PTSD: Behind A Glass Wall

Weeks, months or even years following a traumatic experience, many victims make statements like: “I just can’t get over it!” “I can’t stop thinking about it.” “I feel numb, like I’m behind a glass wall, cut off from everyone”. “Will I ever feel safe again?” These thoughts also reflect typical aspects or symptoms of Post…

Is Your Child Anorexic?

You notice that your 14 year-old daughter only “nibbles” at family dinners because she “ate earlier with friends.” She now exercises intensely, claiming that the extra 1-2 hours of running each day will get her in shape for her soccer games. You also think that you hear her vomiting in the bathroom. You tell yourself…

Preparing for Post Holiday Blues

As we all know, Christmas is an extremely hectic time of the year. It sometimes happens that when the last forkful of turkey casserole has been eaten and when the last of the holiday visitors has driven off, we are stuck by a wave of emotional exhaustion. What can we do to ease ourselves out…

Dealing Positively with Life’s Negatives

Jay and his sister Maggie grew up in a small northern town, neglected by both parents. Their father, usually absent, was physically abusive when he was home, and their mother, frequently absent also, was intoxicated when present with her children. Jay ended up raising his younger sister, providing the cooking, cleaning and other domestic skills…

Shame on Me

Many of us have grown to adulthood with child-based shame thoughts. Our self confidence can be readily undermined when these “little boy” or “little girl” thoughts creep in. These thoughts seem to have a life of their own and frequently are negative or critical. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning in, Self Esteem, mention that these…